Day 23 ~ Plattling Germany ~ BACK on the horse
18 June 2011
Yesterday was my first day back out on the water after hurting my back, and it was GREAT!
I was so happy to feel good and not be in pain that I was happy with just being out there.
I feel like hurting my back forced me to entertain the possibility that I might not be able to compete.
It forced me to LET IT GO. What if the worst happened?
I always believe that sometimes the BEST things can come out of what we perceive to be the WORST things.
Yesterday I felt great, and believe that having the 3 days off was probably exactly what I needed, and definately not what I would have chosen under my own devices.
We had our first New Zealand Team training last night. It was fun, relaxed, and a good practice session on the river. There was no stress, anxiety or drama. Being on Team NZ (there is only 2 of us) makes me see that there is another way to be out here, and suits who I am. I don’t have to follow the crowd, and am learning that I need to do what works for me. Despite how the other girls are training.
The closer the competition day gets the more I know I can only do what I can do.
My best for me.
That is my goal here.
Today in team training I felt more nervous for some reason. There were more people around and I wasn’t as relaxed as yesterday. I felt like my practice was pretty average, and then a girl from Team USA said she though I paddled really well. Once again I have to say how supportive the other girls have been and how that has made such a huge difference.
I know my brain is the only thing holding me back from doing what I know I can do.
I KNOW IT IS POSSIBLE to go out there on Tuesday and have great rides, and enjoy my time on the water.
No matter how that stacks up.
That is all I can ask of myself.
I have felt like I have been in a very long time warp here in Plattling, facing myself and all the ups and downs that have arisen.
Today I am grateful to be healthy, have a new perspective, and the real honest supportive connections I have made with the other competitors.