Day 3 Plattling, Germany
Here are some of today’s training highlights:
Yesterday my first mental hurdle came to the surface. I had a good first training session in the morning. I was sticking loops, figuring out the spot and trying some new moves.
It was great to have higher water, had lots of fun paddling, and was also truly inspired by the paddling of the other girls who were out practicing.
I took a break and went back out later in the day.
I was tired and didn’t realize it. I kept on practicing even tho I was going down hill. My mind started to go to the old place of getting down on myself and with each ride began to lose more and more confidence as that negative voice kept getting more ammunition. I knew I should just get out but for some reason didn’t and the feeling lingered the rest of the afternoon. I began to go to that place of associating my self worth with my performance and thus begins the downward spiral.
I woke up at 3am this morning still in the funk and did my yoga practice. During yoga a voice chimed in that said “if you want to feel better reach for that feeling. FEEL GOOD NOW.”
I was able to turn it around and realize the reality of yesterday. In my first session I had energy and paddled well and was happy with my training and felt like I was on track. My second session I was tired and didn’t paddle well.
End of story.
After yoga I meditated for an hour and was able to get back to my true self. The true self that is love, that is happy to be here no matter what the outcome. The true self that knows deep down I CAN.
I am grateful today for my yoga and meditation practices, and the healthy part of me that is becoming stronger. Yesterday was a good lesson. It showed me how fast that negative voice can creep in and take over, and also showed me that voice isn’t the real me, and that today I have the tools to get back on track.
I am grateful to have embarked on this journey because along the way I have learned that the person I am and want to be isn’t dependent on what I achieve.
My goal is to enjoy the process, and enjoy my days.
To let go of yesterday and be present in today and whatever it brings.
Today I am grateful for being here. I am healthy and going for my dream. I know I can do more than I realize if I get my ego out of the way and enjoy the ride.
A huge thanks for everyone’s comments and support. It is making a world of difference knowing I am not out here on my own! THANK YOU!!